Best NYE Idea

I had the best idea for a NYE party yesterday. Picture this:

The scene: Times Square.

So everyone knows a big apple drops in Times Square at midnight right, what if there was a guillotine like device at the bottom? You could have Heidi Montag and Spencer Fleshbeard in this device and when the ball drops they get decapitated. I'd tune in for that. That would pretty much guarantee a great 2009.

Palestinians

I'm really annoyed with the all the protesting over Israel attacking the Gaza strip. All this uproar over Israel fighting back after being attacked by Hamas. It's total bull crap.

There was a peace treaty in place, the very moment it ended Hamas started firing mortars into Israel. When Israel bombs back they are the bad guy? If anything they should drop more bombs not stop.

Hamas = Terrorists. Not that Israel is innocent but in this case I think they have the right to fight back.

Challenge: Dude looks like a lady.

Name a song that is more annoying than:



The video makes it even worse because you have to see Steven Tyler's face.

edit: for bonus laughs read the youtube comments on the video. there are people in the world that think this is a good song...shudder.

Birth Control

This weekend I paid a visit to my family in Western PA (south of Pittsburgh). My dirtbag cousin decided to drop her kids off (10 and 11) so my aunt could watch them while she got tanked... Anyway, throughout the course of weekend they proved to the be the best birth control known to man. If I had to choose between celibacy or having a kid like that it would be an easy decision in favor of celibacy.

What makes these kids the ultimate Birth Control? You would think they were raised by wolves...that is no exaggeration either. "sadie eats farts" "caid poops his bed" "caid pee'd his bed last night" and on and on. Another highlight was how the 11 yr old girl talked about the guys she has dated...seriously.

Anyway on Sunday they wanted to have a multiplication contest. This was a great idea because it would prevent them from talking about pissing the bed for 20 mins. They weren't actually terrible at simple mutliplication. At one point the boy, Caid said "Ask me 12x12!" After the multiplication we moved on to general trivia and social studies...and the results were horrifying. Here are the actual questions and answers:

What is the largest of the great lakes: the Mississippi River! (Caid)
What is the capital of Pennsylvania (they live here remember): Washington, DC (Caid) Richmond (Sadie)
Where is the Liberty Bell located: England
What is the capital of VA (they lived here for four years): Fredricksburg (Sadie)
What is the capital of England: France (Caid)
What country was Adolf Hitler the dictator of: Haiti (Sadie)
What year did Columbus discover North America: 1936 (Caid)

There were loads more but this is all I can remember, truly horrifying.

nerd in a pink cadillac

Things that happen on the metro will probably fuel 90% of this blog's content. Here is the first...

Today's offender was a white guy in his early twenties. The crime? Listening to the song "Pink Cadillac" by Bruce Springsteen. That in and of itself should be enough for him to go straight to hell but it gets worse. The real crime was that I was sitting about 10' away from him and I heard this blaring on his iPod. This isn't an uncommon experience (hearing someone else's iPod) but this was the first time the song has not been either crappy hip-hop or crappy techno.

Seriously it's Monday morning and the song you choose to blast into your skull is fucking Pink Cadillac? The Boss himself probably considers just slitting his wrists for even writing that piece of shit and you choose to blow your ear drums out in a Pink Cadillac. I don't get it.