I'm here for Brett, ranking the skanks

So I've watched both previous seasons of Rock of Love. I'd like to say it was because my wife made me but I will admit, it is entertaining. This season the skanks are even skankier, here is how I would rate them:

1) Mindi

Congrats, you win. Not the best looking but not nearly as tall as Maria.

2) Maria

Not the best picture of her but she is by far the best looking one of the bunch. Too tall for me though...

3) Kelsey

She is cute and pretty dumb, which in most guys minds is the dream combo.

4) Megan

She looked better on the show. She may have been eliminated, I'm not sure.

5) Natasha

She might actually be attractive...once the clown makeup comes off we'll know for sure.

6) Juggs McGee

A definite drop off but she does have giant life preservers serving as boobs.

7) Marcy

I'd guess she is only about 30 but looks 43ish.

8) Butterynipple Snatch

The first true skank of the count down.

9) the Pornstar with a heart of gold

She may have done porn but who hasn't done something in their past that they regret? Guys, think of it as practice.

10) El Loco Chica

Mmm Pukey kisses.

11) Future Trophy Wife

Some old dude will snatch up this Jessica Simpson knock off. Seems really dull.

12) Farrah Fuxxxit

Typical bar skank. If she is there at last call its beats rubbing one out.

13) Rosy Cheek Pierce

I want to like her more than I do. Something about her bothers me.

14) The Outhouse Pet

How did this one get into Penthouse? Juggs magazine or a Hooters I can see but Penthouse? c'mon lets get serious.

15) The Spirit of Crazy

She is the "spiritual" one. By spiritual I mean ultra crazy.

16) Ummm.

?

17) The Drinking Buddy

Sure you can buy me a drink buddy.

18) 2am Special

See #12. Not as skanky, just as easy.

19) Hello Kitterjuggs Balloonhair

Huge fake boobs? Check. Horrible tats? Double check.

20) Every STD Known to Man

Oh man. 5' 1", 40d's, Herpes, Gonorrhea, #8's jizz, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Aids. She is all kinds of nasty.